A test he is proud to fail
by Abschaum
Summary: He loves him, but he doesn't want to make him do something he might regret later...KnuckleG one shot, Rated T for Language


**A/N: **More KnuckleG for you... 3 More love for them please! This oneshot is totally dedicated to my best friend, who'll definitely be an awesome Knuckle next year 3 and who's the reason I came up with this x3

When I started writing this I wanted to concentrate on Knuckle's inner conflict...didn't really work as you can see *coughs*  
>And I loved writing the dialogues between them x3<p>

**Disclaimer: **Sadly enough I don't own G and Knuckle, as Katekyo Hitman Reborn! they belong to Akira Amano

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><p>G had never been a very religious man. Of course he went to church every week, at least when he was at home.<p>

And he only went to confession when Knuckle forced him to.

He just couldn't see the point in it. He'd walk out of the door and commit the next sins anyways.

But Knuckle seemed eager to save him. Alright,maybe he seemed eager to save all of them, but G couldn't help but get the feeling that the priest tried even harder with him.

Most of the time it annoyed him, but once in a while it gave him this warm feeling he couldn't really explain.

At least it had been like that first. The change happened so slow that it confused G to a previously unknown extend to find himself almost unable not to smile warmly at the other man whenever they met.

It took another long time and much more confusion from G's side until he had finally figured out _what_ he actually felt for Knuckle. But after he realised that the warm feeling he got whenever he thought of his fellow guardian was love he was rather shocked.

First of all there was the fact that he fell in love with a man. Even though he had only slept with women until then love had never been involved. He just never found the right person he guessed. BEsides, he had his hands ful working for the famiglia and lovve would definitely be one of those feelings that would get in his way when he didn't need it.

And then there was the fact thath it was Knuckle he fell in love with. He didn't have a problem with Knunckle himself. He had a rather good looking body after all and his personality wasn't bad either. The problem was Knuckle's occupation. The problem was that the man was an effin' priest! Even if G was rather unreligious he had enough respect of the catholic church to not try to seduce one of its priests.

He knew how much the vows meant to Knuckle and he wouldn't try to make him do anything against his will.

Never.

He swore that to himself once and he definitely wanted to keep his promise.

But that was harder than it seemed. With every day that passed and with every time he saw the sun guardian it became harder. He kept tring to convince himself that it was wrong to even think about giving in to his feelings and that they would be happier if things stayed as they were.

The other man would most definitely be digusted if he was approached with his feelings.

Hell, it was unnatural, a sin, something Knuckle as a priest just couldn't tolerate.

When he became aware of the fact that it didn't work he became angry. Angry at himself, because he already knew that he wouldn't be able to keep the promise he made to himself, and angry at god (or the church, he couldn't quite decide on thath) for creating these damn vows.

He just couldn't make himself be angry at Knuckle for deciding to swear them in the first place.

Not everyone was suited to be a killer, not even in the mafia. And G understood that it was best like this. They needed soemone who was soft. Someone who kept them sane and reminded them of what they really fought for. Maybe they were all determined to reach it (even though he couldn't quite speak for Alaudi and Daemon), but there were so many other things they had to do on their way there that it sometimes was really hard to keep their eyes on their goal.

Knuckle always managaed to let them focus again. Whenever the path they tool and the way they went became too dark and too confusing for them to understand he acted as their guardian light, the sun that always lit up their way and led them onto the right path again. It was his soft core that reminded them of the fact that they actually worked for ther people.

G was thankful for that. In fact he actually apprechiated it a lot more than he would ever admit.

Because he just didn't need anyone to tell him when he schould fight and when he should kill, but someone who told him when it was time to stop and be the nice guy.

He just could never make himself show how very grateful he was that Knuckle did that. But sometimes hehad the feeling thath the priest knew about it. These knowing smiles he always recieved when they passed each other and hesimply glared at the man were what made him come to this conclusion and he would bet on it to be true.

And the silent appreciation of his need to keep all this to himself just showed G once again why there was no way he could not love Knuckle. And why he shouldn't break his promise.

Knuckle deserved to be happy and he would never be able to give the man what he needed. All he could do was to destroy the happines he had right now.

But on th esame time he felt drawn to the priest and it got stronger and stronger. Sometimes he would just pick up his gun and shoot at targets in anger. These were the times when he got so angry at himself that he couldn't deal with it any longer. Sometimes shooting helped, sometimes it didn't. And these were the times when he would be reckless enough to take any enemy head on. Even if he knew perfectly well that they were stronger than him (which lead to G being beaten up by Alaudi once, he had to admit that it beat some sense into him, so he settled with sparring with Asari most of the time instead of just accepting any opponent):

Things went on like this for a long time, with G getting angry and dreaming about a certain priest with increasing frequency. So after having daydreamed about a moaning and panting Knuckle lying below him one time too often he found himself standing in front of the priest's door, one hand raised to knock.

It was only then and there that he realised wherehe was and what he was about to do that he felt sad about the whole thing. He tried to calm himself as his hand connected to the wood and he heard the shufflöing of clothes from the inside.

When Knuckle opened the door and saw G standing there, head bend down and not daring to look at him he wasn't able to hide the surprise in his voice.

"G? Come in, come in."

G followed the invitation and entered the room, with Knuckle closing the door behind him.

"What's the matter?"

When he looked up to face the sun guardian he had made up his mind. This wasn't going to last any longer.

Without a word he used all of his weight to press Knuckle's body against the next wall.

"Forgive me father for i will sin now," he said with hoarse voice.

The priest opened his mouth to ask for a reason, but the red-haired prevented him from doing thatby harshly pressing his lips onto Knuckle's, taking the opportunity to slip his tongue between the other man's lips and explore his mouth.

It just took him a second to get addicted. He had imagined that Knuckle tasted good, but reality was beyond all of his expectations.

He didn't want to pull away, especiually not since Knuckle decided to respond to the kiss at some point, but the need for air became too urgent. when he faced Knuckle both of them were panting and there was a curious glint in Knuckles's eyes. After catching his breath he was finally able to ask the question which lay on his tongue ever since he had found G in front of his room.

"What's the meaning of this, G?"

"Well, what does it look like?"

"Like you're being either reckless or frustrated."

Heck, he knew him too well. But whatwas more important right now was to bring across the reason for his frustration. G's thought raced at an almost unbelievable speed, but he couldn't find the words to express his feelings. In the end he settled with a frustrated sigh.

"So, you're frustrated," stated Knuckle, a serious look on his face.

"But what's the reason for that?"

G's eyes darted around the room, unsure what to say. It all seemed so easy whe he had stood in front of the door, but now...

Confessing to Knuckle was actually harder than it seemed.

Knunckle sighed.

"Look, G, I would really like toi help you, but if you don't talk to me I won't be able to do that."

the look in these soft, brown eyes was killing G. He bend his head and grasped the material of Knuckle's cassock, strengthless.

The usually strong storm guardian could feel tears dwell up in his closed eyes, when he leaned against Knuckle's shoulder, still unable to find the right words.

Knuckle looked at him in surprise, but only for a moment, then he sighed and embraced G softly. He just wanted too speak again to soothe the red-haired man, when the storm guardian finally spoke.

"I...I don't deserve this."

Knuckle was startled for a moment.

"What don't you deserve?"

"All of this. You being so friendly to me. I...I don't deserve _you_!"

"Why shouldn't you deserve it?"

"Because I'm so frickin' pathetic! I...I mean, I swore to myself not to give in to my feelings, be-because I knew it would be wrong. Because I felt it would be unfair to do it and I didn't want to do anything that was unfair to you, be-because..."

He trailed off, not managing to gather the strength toe speak the next words.

"Because?" Knuckle asked patiently. He already felt like he knew where this would lead them, but he wanted G to express his feeling. He had to be hard this time. When the man spoke again it was soft, almost a whisper.

"Because I love you, Knuckle."

Knuckle was silent for a while. He dind't know what to answer.

G interpreted the silence wrong and wanted to pull away from him, but the sun guardian tightened his embrace.

"Don't go," he said, eyes closed and inhaling G's scent, "Promise thatyou don't run away now."

"Kn-Knuckle, wha-?"

"Shh. Just promise."

"...A-Alright, I-I promise."

"Good. Then tell me why you think it's pathetic to give in to your feelings.§

"Because...if I did so I'd try to convince you to break your vows and...I know that they mean a lot to you. So I thought it would be best not to give in to them in order to...to make sure I don't even try to convince you to do anyting you might regret later."

Knuckle loosened his arms and grasped G softly on his shoulders to push him away so he could look in his eyes. The storm guardian didn't dare to look up first, but when he finally raised his head Knuckle could see how unsure he was about what to expect now. The priest looked straight into those red eyes.

"I don't think love is something to regret."

Uncertainty changed to surprise and then to confusion, like G didn't know how to interpret these words. Knuckle led out a short sigh.

"Hm, how should I put it? Let's say this was a test, a test of god to find out if I truly follow my vows. Then I would be very glad to say that I fail it. because I would never be able to turn you down. I care too much for you to hurt you by doing that."

It took g a moment to get what Knuckle was trying to tell him.

"You mean...?"

"Yes, I love you, too."

And as if to prove his point the priest's hand was suddenly in G's neck and pulled him closer to plant a loving kiss onto his lips.


End file.
